You Know You've Been In Korea Too Long If...

• You are immune to the smell of "the kimchi breath."
• You no longer come to a complete stop at the stop sign and you never yield the right-of-way.
• You can pick up a single strand of noodles with chopsticks.
• You ask for more "ko-chu" because the kimchi-chige soup is not hot enough.
• You enjoy slurping your noodles as loudly as you can.
• Your back is sore from bowing.
• You walk down the street holding hands with your buddy.
• You can eat barefooted in a restaurant with a foot in your lap.
• You can cut in at the front of the line of waiting people with the best of them.
• You can fall asleep on the city bus and wake up at your stop.
• You can shovel in an entire bowl of rice and half a course of Bulgogi into your mouth before you swallow.
• You rather watch local TV than AFKN.
• You can make a left turn looking only to the right.
• You can convert any US unit measurements into metric measurements in your head.
• You look forward to Chusok and the Lunar New Year each year.
• You think that Korea's greatest natural resource is good looking young women.
• You only lock your door if there are lots of "Mi-gooks" around.
• People ask if you want to go by car and you respond, "No, I'm in a hurry.
• "Someone says, "Bed," and you think "Yol."
• You realize that it is safer to "J" walk than use a pedestrian crosswalk.
• You wear white socks with a dark suit.
• You can use a public bathroom for both genders and think nothing of it.
• You know every interchange on the Seoul-Pusan Expressway by heart.
• You know all the words to the Korean National Anthem and you enjoy singing it.
• You don't need a restroom to relieve yourself.
• You crawl back into your house to get your coat, rather than take your shoes back off and walk on the floor with shoes on.
• You bow at inanimate objects.
• You walk around humming the tune the crosswalk signal lights play.
• You enjoy shopping at a local open market place more than Main PX or Commissary.
• Someone says breakfast, you think of "fish, soup and seaweed."
• You'd rather sit on the floor than in a chair.
• You start believing that you can blend into a large crowd of Koreans.
• All your shoes are bent flat in the back.
• You let your eyes be drawn towards any female whose hair isn't black.
• You answer the phone by saying "yoboseyo," and sometimes even at the office.
• Someone says "mansion" and you think of a two bedroom flat in a 400-unit apartment building.
• You mutter "Aigu" when lifting a heavy objects.
• You suck in air through your teeth before saying "no" to anything.
• You start growling and spitting inside your mouth to add emphasis to what you are about to say.
• You can convert Hangul into English without repeating it to yourself first.
• You always wave your left hand to signal you are going to cut in front of another driver without looking first.
• You select shoes based on how easily you can get them on and off.
• You answer "Nhe" even when speaking English to non-Korean friends.
• You carry chopsticks in your back pocket.
• You enjoy putting lots of red pepper sauce on your salads or French-fries.
• You don't freak out when the salad arrives with octopus legs still wiggling on top of it.
• You are not embarrassed when old ladies are standing in a bus while you are sitting down.